Friday, December 31

Happy new year!

Dec 31.

Last date on the calendar of 2004.

Wishing you all a prosperous new year, and above all: happiness and love!

Beautiful life to you all...

Thursday, December 30

Sad...

The body counts keep rising. It's sad. Truly. More than 40 thousands confirmed dead in Indonesia alone.

The devastation left is so massive that the gov predictid it would take 5 years to rebuild the areas. But there will be no rebuilding for lifes stopped dead.

That's the magnitude of what nature can do.

Even dinosours perished in the end. Will we, too?

Wednesday, December 29

Manusia dan alamnya (2) - GPS and all that jazz

Nerusin yang kemaren. GPS and all that jazz - what the use of them? Buanyak. Neh salah satunya:

taruhlah si IT Geek itu udah terdampar di hutan. Tanpa bekal apa-apa kecuali bodi ama baju yang nempel di bodinya (soale kalo gak pake baju ntar jadi laen cerita...). Nah, di masa itu, setiap orang udah 'dirasuki' dengan suatu chip yang memuat data2 dia. Dan chip ini memakai mekanisme tertentu yang gak perlu batere, semacam mekanismenya Seiko kinetik yang selama digoyang jalan terus itu. Pada saat 'distress', chip ini bisa mengeluarkan sinyal, sinyalnya bisa ditangkep satelit, dan dari situ si GPS berfungsi lah..... nentuin posisi temen kita yang terdampar tea. Lantas, digerakkanlah itu misi penyelamatan. Dalam itungan jam, si doi udah mesam-mesem lagi di helicopter penyelamat.

Jadi ada fungsinya juga kan? Dengan catatan: tuh negara punya infrastruktur yang heboh, dana yang gede, kemampuan untuk mobilisasi SAR dalam itungan menit, dan menghargai tiap nyawa rakyatnya.

Gitu. Kali.....

Tuesday, December 28

Manusia dan alamnya

Aku suka berpikir, manusia sekarang bener2 sudah tercerabut dari alamnya. Dari segala mahluk hidup, cuma manusia yang bener2 lahir tanpa pembelaan apa2 untuk menghadapi alam. Ia sangat rapuh, telanjang, dan sama sekali tidak dirancang untuk survive di alam. Manusia bisa hidup karena otaknya yang menghasilkan teknologi yang memungkinkannya untuk survive. Bicara teknologi jangan dulu bicara listrik dan temen2nya, tapi dimulai dari yang paling awal: penutup tubuh dan tempat bernaung - pelindung terhadap cuaca dan elemen lain.

Bayangkan skenario ini:
ambil seorang IT Geek dari depan komputernya, bodi doang ama baju yang dipake, taruh di tengah hutan rimba, boleh di alam tropis atau di alam 4 musim. Berapa lama bisa tahan hidup... tanpa bekal, tanpa survival kit, tanpa api (tanpa pengetahuan untuk membuat api), tanpa ini itu dll.

So what's the use of GPS and all those Wifi then? Banyak lah..... tapi bukan buat yang satu itu.

Pada akhirnya, alam has the last word.

Tender beef

If I was a cow, I would've fetched good price for my owner. My beef is tender, mostly lean for those health-concious pack, but still contain enough fat in some places to make your steak sizzle.

Yummy.

Monday, December 27

Hi blog!

Anybody miss me? Well, it hurts when nobody does, but hey, so what? I miss my blog, though. Two weeks without. Gosh... how many thoughts have crossed my mind and gone, left uncaptured.

Wonder wassup with me?

Got under hospital arrest for 4 days, followed by house arrest for the whole week afterward. Due to "abortus iminens". Or "threatened abortus" in English. What happened was: I got uterine bleeding, which could lead to spontaneous abortus. Scarry..... However, the baby seemed okay, wiggling as it was everytime the USG spotted him. I am not. Okay, that is. Limited mobility, have to walk with snail speed, no abrupt movement, no heavy lifting (heck, no lifting at all), have to take lunch at my desk (no wandering around at the foodcourt). Manja, indeed.

Anyway, life is still beautiful to me, dear friends. Never ceased to be. Even when I had only the ceiling to look at (and the green curtain, and the non-descript mustard-yellow wall in the hospital). Well, at one time life seemed so stupid, but after a dose of angry fit, tears, and curhat with friend, life went on as beautifully as always.

Nice to blog again.

Monday, December 13

Anak ke berapa?

Terus terang, pertanyaan ini yang paling aku hindari selama hamil ini. Sekarang belum banyak yang tanya sih, selain karena rekan2 juga udah tahu banget itungan anakku udah berapa, perutku juga belum meyakinkan buat dibilang hamil. Buncit, hooh - kayak orang gak pernah senam.

Tapi hari ini kena juga. Ada karyawan baru di kantor, dan dengan inosennya bertanya: hamil anak ke berapa Mbak? Mo jujur rada2 malu... (hari gini anaknya empat???), mo gak bilang wong udah ditanya.... Akhirnya kujawab dengan begini: ini kehamilan ketiga, tapi anak keempat. Anak keduaku kembar. Dan mendapat respon: oooohhhh.

Begitulah.

(semoga anak keempat beneran, gak empat dan lima)

Swedia

Kata "Swedia" tiga tahun yang lalu hampir tak berarti apa2 buat aku. Yang aku tahu ia adalah satu dari beberapa negara Skandinavia nun di utara sana, negeri dingin dengan orang2 blonde. Hasil karyanya yang mendunia adalah Volvo - yang pernah menyatakan diri sebagai "The Safest Car in the World", IKEA - biangnya furnitur dengan garis 'bersih' nan murah (untuk ukuran sono), dan Roxete.

Lalu, tiba2 suamiku dapat beasiswa untuk belajar di Swedia. Dan kata itu tiba2 jadi mewakili segala hal yang terjadi: rasa bangga, perpisahan, kesepian, kesedihan, kegembiraan, pengalaman, dll. Swedia tiba2 jadi sesuatu yang tumbuh di hati, sama2 berdetak di jantung, dan mendekam di memori.

Ada yang bergetar setiap kali kata itu disebut atau dibaca. Apalagi jika yang disebut adalah spesifik Malmoe, kota yang menyerap suamiku selama 1 1/2 tahun. Dan Lund, kota tetangganya.

Apa pun itu, Swedia tiga tahun lalu berbeda dengan Swedia detik ini.

Mamah empuk

Oke, inilah hasil dari teler dan mabok selama kurang lebih sebulan, yang didului puasa, gak olahraga / gerak2 serius, gak gendong2 anak seberat 14-15 kiloan.....

Tadi malem anakku yang gede nepuk-nepuk lenganku dan bilang, dengan polos dan manisnya: Mamah empuk!

Yeah.. thanks for letting me know.

Friday, December 10

Senja Jingga

Seperti biasa, sepulang kantor, dengan perjalanan mobil yang sekarang merupakan saat2 horor buatku, aku terkapar di kamar.
Jendela terbuka lebar, sore masih terang, dan aku menatap dinding.
Lambat laun dinding kamarku yang berwarna ungu violet berubah… warna yang aku jarang lihat sebelumnya.
Kupalingkan wajahku dan menatap ke luar.

Senja jingga.

Kubayangkan matahari: bola raksasa berwarna jingga
Perlahan turun dan akhirnya hilang di cakrawala
Namun pada hari itu ia memutuskan
Untuk meninggalkan semburat kenangan padaku:
Senja jingga

Thursday, December 9

On Marriage (Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet)

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow

Wednesday, December 8

sakaw

Cinta itu seperti candu, kan?
Dan candu bisa membuatmu sakaw...

(dicuplik dari Men's Health Sept'04)

Tuesday, December 7

Bali

What is it about Bali that makes me so thrilled?

Is it all the memories of a happy childhood: of swimming endlessly under the sun, of nivea's scent on my skin, of being together with my family, of ordering cheese burgers and triple sundaes, of looking at the ceiling and found a big scary gecko, of being taken as a Japanese with burnt skin all over, of live without worry?

Is it the adolescent time: of people looking with admiration, white skin tanned, romantic images playing in my mind, beautiful sunset and magnificent moon, long hair braided, sensation of sand between my toes, dreaming of lover on the beach?

Is it the adulthood: time away from office, the vastness of blue sky, wind on my cheek, honey moon full of smiles, swimming to my heart's contend, the sand... sea....wind....trees....smiles...full moon beaming?

Bali is a dreamland when reality is suspended.

Monday, December 6

be yourself no matter what they do?

how many things can you say about a person?
how do you define his / her identity?

how do you see yourself?
how do you introduce yourself to people?
how many facets do you have?
what is you?

so, not so easy to be yourself no matter what they do if you don't know how to define yourself, hey?

random brain at works here. sapobi signing off for the day.

Ketika Tuhan Tersenyum

MAW Brouwer (alm), pastur, kolumnis, psikolog dari Belanda yang jatuh cinta pada Indonesia, menulis pada salah satu kolomnya bahwa tanah Sunda (dan Indonesia) diciptakan saat Tuhan sedang tersenyum. Jelas saja. Buat orang yang punya pengalaman menjalani beku dan gelapnya musim dingin, beranginnya musim semi, dll –Indonesia yang hangat sepanjang tahun, basah2 dikit di musim hujan, jarang badai, banjir kadang2 saja (itupun karena pembangunan yang kacau – bukan karena alam kita sadis), tentunya benar2 terasa bahwa Tuhan mahabaik ketika menciptakannya.

Sementara di tempat lain, di salah satu negara bagian di Rusia, ada tempat terdingin yang berpenghuni. Bahkan di musim panas, suhu MINUS 30-an derajat celcius, dan kalau musin dingin bisa sampai minus 60-an. Kalo orang miskin di Indonesia bajunya hanya satu dan udah tipis, paling2 masuk angin (mungkin). Orang Rusia itu? Mati, pasti. Beku.

Tapi seperti yang suamiku bilang, Tuhan adalah serba maha. Maka ketika Ia tersenyum, Ia juga bisa berhenti tersenyum. Dan tanah Indonesia yang makmur sentosa ini (saya bilang tanah – bukan rakyat. Rakyatnya sih……begitulah), menyimpan ‘amarah’ yang luar biasa: Jajaran gunung berapi aktif yang berentet dari Sabang sampai Merauke – “The Ring of Fire” yang ngetop itu. Satu saja meledak, hebohlah negeri ini. Semuanya meledak?

Semoga saja Tuhan terus tersenyum pada kita.

Friday, December 3

Horse galloping inside my tummy

One night, when me and my twins were having fun in bed, one of them put her head on my tummy. Then she said:

(H): mommy, there's a sound of horse galloping inside your tummy?
(M): hmmm? Horse galloping? What is it like?
(H): tagadap, tagadap, tagadap...
(M): oh, that. It's not a horse, Has. It's my heart beating. Here, try to put year ear here (right on my chest). Hear that?
(H): with eyes beaming Yes....
(M): you have heart beating inside you, too. Here, let mommy hear yours (and I put my head on her little chest).
(H): Oh?
(M): you can try to listen to Rania's. Rania, here.... Hasna would like to listen to your heart beating. Put your head on Rania's chest..., yup, like that. Hear that?
(H): yup.
(M): now it's Rania's turn. Put your ear on Hasna's chest. Hear that? The sound like horse galloping?
(R): yup... Mommy have it too?
(M): of course. Now, listen to mommy's.

And then, we spent some minutes listening to that one thing that connect us all: the heartbeat.

Kisses in the moonlight

My friend's radio is playing that song.

It would be nice, isn't it, to kiss under the moonlight?

Just imagine: you and your lover, just the two of you, oblivion to others, feeling only the beauty of togetherness, under the beauty of the magnificent moon. Lips intertwined, hearts beat faster, eyes closed, warmth surge within the bodies, and sensation reign.

Kisses in the moonlight.

Thursday, December 2

Gourmet meal vs peanuts

You’ve seen my hubby blog? Heavy…….
You’ve seen my blog? Titbits and the trivia of life.

Reading my hubby’s blog makes me think of gourmet meal (though I haven’t really tried one). You have to savor it slowly, nibbling at the beauty and the taste. It will linger, the sensation, and I guess you don’t want to have too many of it in a short time.

My blog is like assorted peanuts in a bag. Light, various flavors and consistencies that you can munch on at any time, and the sensation is easily forgotten.

The danger of klepon

Oke, buat yang suka makan klepon, hati2. Baru aja aku makan satu, dan mak jeprottttt, itu isi gula jawa melesat kelular, mendarat dengan dramatisnya di layar monitor aku, di atas berkas2 aku, dan beberapa tetes di keyboard.

Selagi bersih-bersih ternyata terlihat bahkan ada yang loncat sampe ke belakang monitor komputer dan meresap ke dalam penyekat cubicle.

So, beware!

Lone flower

A lone flower
Grows in a small garden

Her head bowed
To the grass below

Her head looking up
At the tree which she grows under

A lone flower
Feeling deeply alone

Death comes as the end

My friend forwarded me a clip nudging people to remember that death may come at anytime and now it’s time to remember God (pray, oh friend).

Scary message, that one.

We will all die someday, in a way that is not of our choosing. To be reminded of that is, well, (clearing my throat here), moving indeed.

Heaven or hell? What if I don’t believe in them? What if what I believe is that souls are recycle-able? In their journeys, they will purify themselves enough to someday reside in the sky as eternally blinking stars?

But what if...?

This is definitely not a good topic to start a day with.