a big kid

some years ago, when my boss was asked to describe me by one of our colleagues in not-so-distant place, he told her: 'she's like a big kid. she talks to people just like that, regardless of who they are'.

i was not sure whether to take it as a compliment or to see it as something that i needed to work on in my personality.

yeah, sure. i still look and behave, perhaps, like a big kid.
i am not quite competent at hiding my feelings, nor to talk 'nicely'.
i show my feelings, and talk my feelings out. no pretense. no icing.

i'm easily got happy or excited about something as easily as i got anxious about something
you don't have to elaborate on the things that make me happy, coz i would just tell you. easy, huh?
same with things i don't like. it's no quiz at all. i'll tell you right away.
don't try to surprise me too much. i'm not too good with pretending i like it when i don't. so the surprise would then be yours. my loving husband, with all his good intentions, is a living testimony to that. bless his nice soul and his endevour to always make me happy.

so it's a puzzle to me why people's relations have to be so complicated
you say things nicely about something while you only mean less than half of it
you put up polite face while your heart is seething and your brain is protesting
you smile at things you don't like and comment as if it's the most facinating things you've ever seen
you make an elaborate paremeter of what makes you happy. you measure your succes, your wealth, how your kids are in school, what your bag (and its brand) is holding.

i just want to be happy. simply happy.
kiddy happy. when i want A and i got A. when I want love and I have love.
when I don't care about what others are having, coz they are not relevant to me.
no, i won't trade that kid in me for anything. coz I am happy.

and the next time you think i'm too frank... well i'm frank.
if you need sugar-laced truth, talk to someone else.

/live happy!