knock knock

someone is knocking on my door today
asking how am I doing
am doing quite well, actually

today things started quite the same
though not absolutely the same
it was quite an early start
with one of the girls off to her trip
before we were all awaken today

then the routine began
of waking the girls up
of the little quarrel before bathtime
of the constant 'it's so and so hour, you must hurrry'

and off we went
me with the driver, sending the girls to school
which was not exactly routine
routine would be
the daddy taking all the gals to school
mommy with driver to office

so, yeah
i'm quite okay

whoa, warped time!

uh oh, my last posting was march 9.
that was like more than a month ago.
where have I been?
no where. just here. but no here either.

see how time flies without we noticing it? like USS Enterprise in warped speed.
i looked at my diary today. so many empty pages.
scarry.

did I not do something? feel something? gain something? lose something?
so why the empty pages?
is this simply laziness to write, or daily live has lost its significance?

what happens to enjoy life to the fullest; carpe diem; life is too short, why bother?
what happens to those sparks in my mind that i used to have; those slivers of rainbow; those funny/weird/simple ideas that used to pops up?

or in this journey we call life, are we so used to warped speed that everything just goes by?
journey is not something that we enjoy in itself, and only the destination is important?

should not be like that.

i need to slow down and look at the scenery as they go pass my window again.
and to fill those pages.

not one day is trully empty.

live. love. laugh!

the right or wrong of it

who decides what's right? or wrong?
in some company, what's right or wrong is defined by an ethics committee. they would then issue the 'code of conduct', a set of behaviour that is mandatory for employees to follow. then that code of conduct would be used as based for all the policies, procedures, etc that the company is making.

who controls the ethic committee? someone higher. but who's higher than the ethic committee?
alas, they are human, too. bound to make mistakes. how do you become part of something that is 'pure and correct'? you cannot.

so who decides what's right or wrong?
people whose conciousness are expected to be pure, whose moral bearing are pointing to the right direction. people who look at history, look at current affairs, and look at what might be happening in the future, and try to make sense of it all, and define what's proper and not.

moral values are something that are accepted and agreed upon by the general public. that's why different groups have different values. and that's why different eras have different ideas, too. how do you define the universal values to guide all the general public out there?

some ideas are universal: integrity, honesty, compassion to others, respect to other beings, respect to people set of beliefs. those are what i can remember at this moment.

then again, different groups still have different interpretation of how those words are define. how compassion is compassionate enough? how much respect is respect enough? how much freedom is freedom enough?

world is never can be generalized into the black or white of it, not the right or wrong of it. there's always something in between, and other colors too.

in my own person, my idea is: your freedom is yours; you are free to do whatever it is you want to do and be whatever it is you want to become - as long as your freedom does not rob others of theirs and that what you do does not harm you/others, and certainly not breaking the law.

the law. the right or wrong of it, created by flawed human.

back to square one!

the girl who plays slenthem and kicks butts

she's kinda tomboy: liking jeans and shirts more than girly attire; making friends with lots of boys and some girls, too. her sport is taekwondo, and she just won her gold medal yesterday, and a trophy for 'best pre-junior female athlete'.

before yesterday, about a month ago, and a month prior to that day, she was so keen on rehearsing for the karawitan concert, where she played the 'slenthem'. slenthem is a kind of 'bass' instrument in the gamelan orchestra. slenthem is played by one player only in the whole orchestra, and she reigned.

she's my girl. the girl who loves both the soothing and almost meditating 'hammering' of gamelan instruments, and the fiercess of kicking your oponent's arse in a tournament. she is both part of a harmony, and a single fighter.

mom is so happy for you.

experience is what you get if you don't get what you expect

we live with routines, whether we like it or not
those routines sometimes define us: what we are, who we are.
they are like a set of identities that we relate ourself to.
routines can be our work or our profession or our role in personal life
with routines, we almost expect things would be placid,
without much surprises, and one there is, it would be small ripple
and not a blasting waves

i've got my ripple today. not so big, but quite annoying
a ripple that gets bigger by the time it reaches my heart's shore.
you know how waves are, they may got amplified, or diminished,
depending on what they encounter as the pass

i guess with me, things tend to be amplified instead of being diminished

so, thing happened that i did not expect
thing that juggles my routines
thing that makes my balance wobbly

i told someone that
and that someone told me
'take it as an experience'
'an experience is something you get
when you got things you don't expect'

wise words