full doa

naek angkutan umum di jakarta itu benar2 membuat kita semakin dekat dengan Tuhan. gimana tidak? klo setiap kli naik angkutan, doa ga putus2 terucap di hati?
contohnya waktu aku pulang dari kursus kemarin senin.
ojeg yang saya tumpangi, mendengar tujuan saya 'manggarai', serta merta ambil jalan pintas, serobot jalur busway, dan kemudian ngebut semerdeka-merdekanya. akhirnya saya tepuk bahu si tukang ojeg. terjadilah percakapan ini:

Sapobi (S): pak, biasa aja lah.. ga usah ngebut.
sambil nengok sedikit, si pak ojeg (Oj) bilang: kan eneng ngejar kereta? ntar telat?
S: lah.. saya mau ke terminal bis pak, ga ke stasiun kereta.. ga ngejar apa2.
Oj: oh......kirain neng....
untunglah si Oj habis itu melambatkan motornya, dan saya bisa duduk dengan sedikit merasa aman

babak kedua berdoa dimulai sesegera aku naik bis S62 jurusan manggarai - pasar minggu.
supir, kenek, dan dayang2nya (ada satu anak perempuan yang jelas2 teman mereka), semua masih remaja tanggung. baru 17 lewat dikiiiit, kayaknya. dan bisa menebaklah kita kualitas remaja jalanan jakarta ini: agak2 kurang lengkap di otak, dan jelas2 minim rasa tanggung jawabnya. kalo menurut natgeo yang mengupas permasalahan otak para remaja, bukan rasa tanggung jawab sebetulnya yang kurang, tapi rasa 'mari kita coba dan liat sampe sejauh mana kita bisa bertahan' itu yang bikin mereka terlihat agak2 kurang beres pemikirannya.

dengan kombinasi hormon yang bergejolak, gelombang otak yang belum stabil, dan pendidikan ala kadarnya serta (dijamin!) pemahaman peraturan lalu lintas yang nyaris NOL, supir serta kenek remaja itu memegang hidup seluruh penumpang bis.

miris rasanya menyerahkan nasib pada gerombolan seperti itu. ditambah lagi memasrahkan diri pada kondisi bis yang kotor, panas, dan tidak jelas standar keamanannya.

sungguh, yang bisa dilakukan hanya berdoa, berharap Tuhan masih memberi rejeki pada hari ini untuk aku bertemu dengan orang2 yang kusayang.

lebih miris lagi berpikir bahwa: aku, dengan isi dompetku, masih punya pilihan untuk lebih manja dan, dengan alasan keamanan, memilih taksi biru muda metalik dengan supir berseragam batik yang kesohor pelayanannya itu.

beribu2 orang jakarta lain tak punya pilihan untuk selain terus berdoa.

semangad pagi....

/Sapobi

I am a Rolex

I have this message in my BB messenger:
(as a response to my earlier 'di persimpangan jalan' blog)

"Because if you are a car, you are a mercedes, if you are a watch, you are a rolex. If you are a motorcycle, you are a kawasaki ninja zx6, four cylinders inline, four carbs, twin cams, 16 valves, 200 mph top speed.."

If someone who knows me my whole life sees me like this, it's very wrong for myself to see me less than what he implies.

So from now on, my mantra would be: I am a ROLEX. I am a MERCEDES. I am a kawasaki which is both a work of art and superb machinary.

I am a beauty to behold and an engine to admire.

I have that in me. No less.

Pernyataan terpendam anak

(numpang repost dari postingan BBM temanku)

Untuk para orang tua, ada sedikit ilmu yang dapat dibagi - hasil ceramah dari psikolog Bp. Puji Hartono S., Psi.

Ada 11 pernyataan yang tak terucap dari anak:

1. Cintailah aku sepenuh hatimu
2. Aku ingin jadi diri sendiri, maka hargailah aku
3. Cobalah mengerti aku dan cara belajarku
4. Jangan marahi aku di depan orang banyak
5. Jangan bandingkan aku dengan kakak / adikku
6. Bapak Ibu lupa, bahwa aku adalah fotocopymu
7. Kian hari umurku kian bertambah, makan jangan selalu anggap aku sebagai anak kecil
8. Biarkan aku mencoba, lalu beritahu bila aku salah
9. Jangan membuat aku bingung, maka tegaslah padaku
10. Jangan ungkit-ungkit kesalahanku
11. Aku adalah ladang pahala bagimu

Happy parenting!

arrived in battered shape

dress crumpled and damp with sweat, hair toussled by wind, body reeking of pollution, face red and prespiring, that was how I arrived at the office today, courtesy of our public transport and the traffic.

luckily enough, it took only about an hour to reach my workplace. having standing at the bus stop for almost ten minutes for the 640 ps.minggu - tanah abang bus, I spotted the PPD 54 depok-grogol lane. after making sure it will stop at komdak, I got onboard. and even luckier still, seats were still available - albeit mine is sandwiched between two gentlemens, one who was 'over-volume'.

the bus will take the toll road, and that was why the fare is 2500 instead of 2000. then came the entertainment: gendang and guitar with duet. you'd be surprised on the kinds of entertainment (and shopping) you could get in a bus ride...hahahaha... today, that duet was the only entertainment, though.

yep, true to its words, the bus got into the toll road. after kuningan, the traffice was a breeze. reached komdak in no time, got into the waiting 640, though my luck stopped here for findng any seat, and off we go to sudirman.

and now here I am, posting my morning blog, eating the somay I bought at the pedestrian bridge.

life is good.

di persimpangan jalan

klo musti memutuskan sesuatu, yang berpontesi mempunya efek besar terhadap hidup, rasanya seperti berdiri di persimpangan jalan tanpa rambu2 yang jelas.
lebih parah lagi kalo tujuannya pun belum jelas. wah, itu udah kaya persimpangan jalan, mati lampu pulak.

ini nampaknya yang sedang daku alami sekarang.
diriku sedang berperang dalam hati, dan dalam jiwa, dan dalam otak (dan dalam dompet), untuk membuat tujuan hidup yg baru. naaah, tujuannya pun masih agak samar2. belum pasti benar.
masih banyak menimbang ini itu ini itu... mungkin terlalu banyak menimbang.

atau kalo mau sejujurnya, bukan menimbang, tapi takut melangkah. takut ambil keputusan. ya takutlah.
pokoke takut.

orang2 dekatku sekali, yg bener2 dekat denganku, suka heran dengan diriku yang peragu ini. katanya, aku punya banyak kesempatan untuk maju, karena ibarat mobil, mobilku tuh jempolan. tapi sebagai supir, aku ngerem melulu. bentar2 liat kiri kanan, bentar2 ngerem, bentar2 konsultasi ke GPS atau peta.

pada kenyataannya, diriku memang takut nyetir. takut keserempet, takut kesenggol, takut salah ambil jalan, takut salah perkiraan waktu, dll dll yg takut2 lainnya.

mungkin itu gambaran juga dari lubuk jiwa terdalam: aku takut. titik.

dan terdamparlah diriku hingga kini di persimpangan jalan. tanpa rambu, tanpa tanda arah, dan mati lampu pulak.

such bloody expression, the f word

What perhaps started as a mere word synonim to copulation has become a word whose existent is all over the literary world.

Swearing would not be complete without it.
Expressing your astonishment is up a notch if you use it.
Just about everything is a bit more intense if you insert it.

This little four-letter word.
So f***ing perfect, is it?

over-volume

I have nothing againts any body type. And definitely nothing againts people who are over volume.

It's just that, in Jakarta public bus, namely the Metro Mini, the hobbit-scaled seats are a menace to society, especially to those with generous size, and those who are unlucky enough to share the seats with them.

Let me tell you what happened to me this morning.
I was totally minding my own business, fending boredom and sleepinees, in the bus carrying me to the office. The seat next to mine was still empty. Until this lady got on board; one whose bulk was a bit over the standard. She quitely sat next to mine, bringing some of her generous volume right over my space. It was like having my body as sandwich filling between her and the bus wall.

There was no escaping such fate. The little I could do was moving my butt to the left a fraction of an inch, and re-alinging my back, just to survive the pressure from my right. And I quickly meditated myself to sleep. Sleep, the ultimate escape from all things uncomfortable.

Now what I have is the fleeting sensation of numbness on my right arm.

Have a happy life, dear friends.

Unconditional love

People always hail mothers as heroes: creatures with love so in abundant that they require nothing in return.

I'm a mom of four, and I don't see it that way.

It's the children who have the unconditional love towards their parents.
No matter how much we suck as being one, they would love us.
No matter how bad (God forbid!) we treat them, they would love us.
When we are angry at them for reason that is not entirely theirs , perhaps because we are too tired, or too stressed out with other things in life, they would just swallow it and still love us.
They would love us no matter how we dress, no matter how we act, no matter how silly we are, regardless of the many mistakes we've made, and so on.

When things go bad, as in divorce, more than few would feel that part of it was their fault.
When things are not good in the household, some would feel that they are to blame.

You look into your children eyes, and you'd know that their love for us are unconditional.
Just because we happen to be their parents.
Having children is our choice. Being our children are not theirs. It's a given.
And yet they love us with all their being.

/sapobi

I should write, again

it's been long since I wrote last
nothing special to write

well, that's not it
i just lost my passion in lots of things lately
writing, for one

things I see are still interesting in their own way
but I don't seem to be able to put what I see into words

that's a scarry sign
I used to love to write
it's used to be what made my day

I need to find my passion again
I need to start seeing again
and write what I see

it's a kind of self indulgence, you see
better than eating
cost writing wouldn't add to your body weight

well, enough rambling for today
hope you (whoever you are), will find me writing again
and nicely at it

live happy!