I felt so cold today, blog. So cold that my palm turned purplish, my lips and breath are like a breeze. You could use my palms for cold compress, really. I thought better to stop my fast, blog, afraid of fainting or something. So I broke the fast at about 10am. With hot ginger tea. Nice.
It’s now in the afternoon, blog. I am to go home in a short moment. Just tidying up things at the office, and look (with sinking heart) at my To-Do-List today. Half of the points in my list are not checked. Gosh. What have I done? What have I done?
No need to feel so desperate, though. I am and independent worker. So I thought of myself. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? With the evaluation looming, I should be more careful of my works. Well, I should’ve been careful with my works since January 2004, for crying out loud! Okay, two months to correct myself. Is that a galley I see in the distance? Oh, no…. I’m to be hanged soon. Forgive me for all my sins….
Sometimes I wonder how I would fare outside this beloved company. It’s my ninth year here. Pretty good marriage, don’t you think? But in marriage you are not supposed to even wondering how you would fare outside. All in that is for you to take. Supposed to.
In life, there’s too much variables, too much determining factors. So take it as it is. Keep on living. No matter what.
I felt cold, today, blog. Real cold.
In a world where everyone struggles to survive whatever the cost, how could one judge those people who decide to die? (Veronika decides to die by Paul Coelho, p.13)
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