What to blog in this afternoon? I spent today preparing background data and finally writing a report for my boss. Turned out just 2 pages, 1-1/2 space. So short, hah? So short yet so much preparation needed. So my brain is in a kinda burnt out state now. Therefore I won’t blog much.
It’s weekend tomorrow. So see you again next week, blog.
Oh, a thought crossed my mind today:
Falling in love is both the most amazing and stupid thing that could happen to human.
Ciao!
Friday, October 29
Weird moon
It was indeed full moon last night, with clear blue sky. I gathered my children outside and together we looked at it. Then my eldest said:
“It’s a weird moon, Mom. The weirdest I’ve ever seen?”
“Oh? Why?”
“It’s not silver. Moon should be silver.”
“Indeed it is. It’s rather yellowy, don’t you think?”
“Yes, it is. It’s GOLDEN. Moon should not be golden.”
“Well….. sometimes moon does have different color. I’ve seen a pink one.”
“Pink? That’s weird”
“But anyway, look at that hallo. So big and beautiful, isn’t it? And the color, just like a rainbow.”
“Yes. It’s beautiful, but weird”
I hope it would turn silver once it was high in the sky. But late at night, when I looked at it again, it maintained it color: golden. I thought only early rising moon would have that color.
Weird? I wouldn’t say so. Amazing? Yes. There’s no limit to the greatness of the Creator, and the beauty we are allowed to see.
“It’s a weird moon, Mom. The weirdest I’ve ever seen?”
“Oh? Why?”
“It’s not silver. Moon should be silver.”
“Indeed it is. It’s rather yellowy, don’t you think?”
“Yes, it is. It’s GOLDEN. Moon should not be golden.”
“Well….. sometimes moon does have different color. I’ve seen a pink one.”
“Pink? That’s weird”
“But anyway, look at that hallo. So big and beautiful, isn’t it? And the color, just like a rainbow.”
“Yes. It’s beautiful, but weird”
I hope it would turn silver once it was high in the sky. But late at night, when I looked at it again, it maintained it color: golden. I thought only early rising moon would have that color.
Weird? I wouldn’t say so. Amazing? Yes. There’s no limit to the greatness of the Creator, and the beauty we are allowed to see.
Thursday, October 28
Sedih tak berujung (Glenn Fredly)
saat menjelang, hari-hari bahagiamu
aku memilih tuk diam dalam sepiku
saat mereka tertawa di atas pedihku
tentang cintaku yang kini tlah pergi tinggalkanku
aku tak perduli
sungguh tak perduli
inilah jalan hidupku
ingin aku kau genggam hatiku
simpan di dalam lubuk hatimu
tak tersisa untuk diriku
habis semua rasa di dada
selamat tinggal kisah tak berujung
kiniku 'kan berhenti berharap
perpisahan kali ini
tak 'kan menjadi kisah sedih yang tak berujung
aku memilih tuk diam dalam sepiku
saat mereka tertawa di atas pedihku
tentang cintaku yang kini tlah pergi tinggalkanku
aku tak perduli
sungguh tak perduli
inilah jalan hidupku
ingin aku kau genggam hatiku
simpan di dalam lubuk hatimu
tak tersisa untuk diriku
habis semua rasa di dada
selamat tinggal kisah tak berujung
kiniku 'kan berhenti berharap
perpisahan kali ini
tak 'kan menjadi kisah sedih yang tak berujung
La Luna
It’s going to be full moon tonight. The moon at its most majestic moment: round, shining, a bit arrogant.
When I was a kid, my mom used to take me out every time there’s a full moon and we both would looked up to it. Then she would tell me to follow her do this thing: place both palms on the cheeks, look at the bright shining moon, and say this mantra: “Oh beautiful full moon, give thy beauty to us so we may become as beautiful as you”.
Whether history has it say or not, I am a moon gazer. Whenever I’ve got the chance to go out at night, I’d look for the moon. And stare at it. There are no words enough to describe the awe of a full moon surrounded by a heavenly hallo.
Once, there was a blackout in the housing compound I live. Instead of total darkness, we had this soft bluish light coming from it. The world seemed to be bathed in this light, nicely and warmly. I looked at the light creating shadows of leaves and trees, I looked at the light on the street, and I looked at the light on my palm. For some moments that night, everything was peaceful. And there, on her throne in the cloudless sky, is the moon. Full, bright, shining, smiling.
La Luna. I hope to see you again tonight.
When I was a kid, my mom used to take me out every time there’s a full moon and we both would looked up to it. Then she would tell me to follow her do this thing: place both palms on the cheeks, look at the bright shining moon, and say this mantra: “Oh beautiful full moon, give thy beauty to us so we may become as beautiful as you”.
Whether history has it say or not, I am a moon gazer. Whenever I’ve got the chance to go out at night, I’d look for the moon. And stare at it. There are no words enough to describe the awe of a full moon surrounded by a heavenly hallo.
Once, there was a blackout in the housing compound I live. Instead of total darkness, we had this soft bluish light coming from it. The world seemed to be bathed in this light, nicely and warmly. I looked at the light creating shadows of leaves and trees, I looked at the light on the street, and I looked at the light on my palm. For some moments that night, everything was peaceful. And there, on her throne in the cloudless sky, is the moon. Full, bright, shining, smiling.
La Luna. I hope to see you again tonight.
Wednesday, October 27
Kebahagiaan perempuan
Kebahagiaan adalah ketika seseorang merasa baik, cerah, kreatif, puas, mencintai dan dicintai, dan bebas.
Kebahagiaan itu termasuk juga dicintai oleh seorang laki-laki yang menghargai kekuatanmu dan bangga atas bakat-bakatmu.
Fatima Mernissi, Perempuan-perempuan Haremku
Kebahagiaan itu termasuk juga dicintai oleh seorang laki-laki yang menghargai kekuatanmu dan bangga atas bakat-bakatmu.
Fatima Mernissi, Perempuan-perempuan Haremku
Good afternoon, blog
I felt so cold today, blog. So cold that my palm turned purplish, my lips and breath are like a breeze. You could use my palms for cold compress, really. I thought better to stop my fast, blog, afraid of fainting or something. So I broke the fast at about 10am. With hot ginger tea. Nice.
It’s now in the afternoon, blog. I am to go home in a short moment. Just tidying up things at the office, and look (with sinking heart) at my To-Do-List today. Half of the points in my list are not checked. Gosh. What have I done? What have I done?
No need to feel so desperate, though. I am and independent worker. So I thought of myself. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? With the evaluation looming, I should be more careful of my works. Well, I should’ve been careful with my works since January 2004, for crying out loud! Okay, two months to correct myself. Is that a galley I see in the distance? Oh, no…. I’m to be hanged soon. Forgive me for all my sins….
Sometimes I wonder how I would fare outside this beloved company. It’s my ninth year here. Pretty good marriage, don’t you think? But in marriage you are not supposed to even wondering how you would fare outside. All in that is for you to take. Supposed to.
In life, there’s too much variables, too much determining factors. So take it as it is. Keep on living. No matter what.
I felt cold, today, blog. Real cold.
In a world where everyone struggles to survive whatever the cost, how could one judge those people who decide to die? (Veronika decides to die by Paul Coelho, p.13)
It’s now in the afternoon, blog. I am to go home in a short moment. Just tidying up things at the office, and look (with sinking heart) at my To-Do-List today. Half of the points in my list are not checked. Gosh. What have I done? What have I done?
No need to feel so desperate, though. I am and independent worker. So I thought of myself. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? With the evaluation looming, I should be more careful of my works. Well, I should’ve been careful with my works since January 2004, for crying out loud! Okay, two months to correct myself. Is that a galley I see in the distance? Oh, no…. I’m to be hanged soon. Forgive me for all my sins….
Sometimes I wonder how I would fare outside this beloved company. It’s my ninth year here. Pretty good marriage, don’t you think? But in marriage you are not supposed to even wondering how you would fare outside. All in that is for you to take. Supposed to.
In life, there’s too much variables, too much determining factors. So take it as it is. Keep on living. No matter what.
I felt cold, today, blog. Real cold.
In a world where everyone struggles to survive whatever the cost, how could one judge those people who decide to die? (Veronika decides to die by Paul Coelho, p.13)
Morning, blog
Start your day with a blog.
A blog a day keeps the doctor away.
Hahaa. Those would be my new motto. Whoever invent this online diary, thanks to you! It has become a need: to blog. At least a very pressing need indeed when I am stationed in front of a computer with nicely working internet connection, that is. And besides, life at the office is too hectic and stressing without a let up.
So, blog. How are you doing today? Receive many entries yet?
Oh, a good and bad news: my friend got a baby boy born to him last Thursday (Oct 21). That’s the good news. The bad news? The baby was born with a stretch of skin covering his anus so that he has to undergo operation to make a hole and to create a rectum. Too bad.
Makes me really really grateful for the perfection of my twins. Of all the things that could’ve gone wrong (Siamese twins, one twin died of Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion (occurs when there’s only one sac for both and only one major umbilical cord – which seemed to be the case of my twins), my active cysts exploding or inflamed) – all went smoothly. Thanks, God.
The twins. Should write a lengthy entry about them, someday.
Well, that’s all for the morning, blog. See you again today in the afternoon.
A blog a day keeps the doctor away.
Hahaa. Those would be my new motto. Whoever invent this online diary, thanks to you! It has become a need: to blog. At least a very pressing need indeed when I am stationed in front of a computer with nicely working internet connection, that is. And besides, life at the office is too hectic and stressing without a let up.
So, blog. How are you doing today? Receive many entries yet?
Oh, a good and bad news: my friend got a baby boy born to him last Thursday (Oct 21). That’s the good news. The bad news? The baby was born with a stretch of skin covering his anus so that he has to undergo operation to make a hole and to create a rectum. Too bad.
Makes me really really grateful for the perfection of my twins. Of all the things that could’ve gone wrong (Siamese twins, one twin died of Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion (occurs when there’s only one sac for both and only one major umbilical cord – which seemed to be the case of my twins), my active cysts exploding or inflamed) – all went smoothly. Thanks, God.
The twins. Should write a lengthy entry about them, someday.
Well, that’s all for the morning, blog. See you again today in the afternoon.
Tuesday, October 26
Sebel (?)
Kenapa orang bisa jadi sebel? Mungkin karena ada kesenjangan antara harapan dan kenyataan. Apa yang dimau dan apa yang didapat. Bukan, bukan tentang kecewa – kecewa itu masalah yang lebih besar lagi dari sekedar sebel. Kalau kecewa, ada unsur merasa ‘tertipu’.
Sebel itu lebih ke hal2 yang kecil. Bukan yang mendasar. Sebel itu kalo disuruh nunggu 5 menit tapi jadi 15 menit (ya kan, Kik?). Sebel itu aku bilang aku mo telpon tapi terus lupa. Sebel itu kalo aku pengen ke mal tapi gak berani bilang terus jadi bete dan jadinya kamu sebel karena aku bete (ya kan, Kik?).
Kalo lagi sebel biar gak sebel gimana hayo? Mirip ama nahan marah, kali. Tarik napas, dan lupakanlah. Ato cari hiburan.
Kecuali kalo sebelnya udah ndeketin kecewa, udah rada2 dalem dikit. Kalo itu mah susah ilangnya. Entah faktor yang bikin sebelnya berubah, ato ya itu tadi: lupakanlah.
Tapi orang mah daya ingetnya kalo untuk hal2 yang bikin sebel / kecewa kan bisa se-iPod gitu. 20 GB. Dan kayak iPod, portable banget, dibawa2 ke mana2. Kalo perlu di-share pula filenya, jadi sohib2 kita juga ketularan sebelnya. Susah dah.
Segitu aja dulu tentang sebel. Takut bikin sebel orang yang udah nunggu aku di bawah.
Salam. Selamat berbuka puasa. Take care, you all.
Sebel itu lebih ke hal2 yang kecil. Bukan yang mendasar. Sebel itu kalo disuruh nunggu 5 menit tapi jadi 15 menit (ya kan, Kik?). Sebel itu aku bilang aku mo telpon tapi terus lupa. Sebel itu kalo aku pengen ke mal tapi gak berani bilang terus jadi bete dan jadinya kamu sebel karena aku bete (ya kan, Kik?).
Kalo lagi sebel biar gak sebel gimana hayo? Mirip ama nahan marah, kali. Tarik napas, dan lupakanlah. Ato cari hiburan.
Kecuali kalo sebelnya udah ndeketin kecewa, udah rada2 dalem dikit. Kalo itu mah susah ilangnya. Entah faktor yang bikin sebelnya berubah, ato ya itu tadi: lupakanlah.
Tapi orang mah daya ingetnya kalo untuk hal2 yang bikin sebel / kecewa kan bisa se-iPod gitu. 20 GB. Dan kayak iPod, portable banget, dibawa2 ke mana2. Kalo perlu di-share pula filenya, jadi sohib2 kita juga ketularan sebelnya. Susah dah.
Segitu aja dulu tentang sebel. Takut bikin sebel orang yang udah nunggu aku di bawah.
Salam. Selamat berbuka puasa. Take care, you all.
Rules of the road (solution)
So, the solution for putting order to the nasty motorcycle riders, did you ask?
I believe in embedding the needs of rules for creating order first. This may be accomplished by a campaign of relentless “mind washing” as well as adequate reward and punishment program. A program that runs non-stop for two year would suffice.
Say the city administrator is to put mega number of volunteers, already trained to understand every single correct rule of traffic into the streets. These volunteer would be given the authority matching that of the traffic police, meaning they could stop, ask for proper documents, and give tickets (tilang). These volunteers are brainwashed not to accept bribery in whatever form, big or small. A violation of the rule is a violation of the rule. Not more, not less. But there will be degree of violation: minor, medium, major, and fatal. Of course, punishment for different degree of violation would be different, too.
Every SIM (drivers’ license) would be barcoded, and there will be integrated national data on every holder of a driver license. So whenever a driver goes, his data follows him. Either he violates a rule in Semarang or in Sibolga, these violations would show in his record.
Each driver is allocated maximum number of violation. If he is overquota, the driver license would be suspended and he will be prohibited to drive for a certain period of time.
Triple suspension would result in permanent termination of license. So he will be condemned to use the public transportation for the rest of his life. Re-applying for a license is possible but on very strict conditions.
So, if put in short, the basic things needed are:
Integrated and fully computerized data with adequate resources nation-wide
Strict compliance to the rules
Strong reinforcement
Those three will need MAJOR investment. That’s for the officials up there to find out.
Keep on dreaming, Lass.
I believe in embedding the needs of rules for creating order first. This may be accomplished by a campaign of relentless “mind washing” as well as adequate reward and punishment program. A program that runs non-stop for two year would suffice.
Say the city administrator is to put mega number of volunteers, already trained to understand every single correct rule of traffic into the streets. These volunteer would be given the authority matching that of the traffic police, meaning they could stop, ask for proper documents, and give tickets (tilang). These volunteers are brainwashed not to accept bribery in whatever form, big or small. A violation of the rule is a violation of the rule. Not more, not less. But there will be degree of violation: minor, medium, major, and fatal. Of course, punishment for different degree of violation would be different, too.
Every SIM (drivers’ license) would be barcoded, and there will be integrated national data on every holder of a driver license. So whenever a driver goes, his data follows him. Either he violates a rule in Semarang or in Sibolga, these violations would show in his record.
Each driver is allocated maximum number of violation. If he is overquota, the driver license would be suspended and he will be prohibited to drive for a certain period of time.
Triple suspension would result in permanent termination of license. So he will be condemned to use the public transportation for the rest of his life. Re-applying for a license is possible but on very strict conditions.
So, if put in short, the basic things needed are:
Integrated and fully computerized data with adequate resources nation-wide
Strict compliance to the rules
Strong reinforcement
Those three will need MAJOR investment. That’s for the officials up there to find out.
Keep on dreaming, Lass.
To blog or not to blog
That is the question.
I have told myself to blog every workday. Weekend and holiday I cannot, because, dear friend, I blog from the office. The privilege of PC at my home with good connection is yet to be granted to me.
I blog for the sake of my mind coz I have lots of things going on in my mind, albeit small and trivial. Like this one. What the heck am I doing writing about blog in my blog?
Well, I am feeling rather not well. Seems like a cold has been at my heel since weekend. It hasn’t bitten me yet, but dizzy I am with sore throat today. And today, I got caught in this never ending meeting with confusing minutes to take and lots of topics that need sorted out. That, my friend, is my main job in a meeting, apart for actually doing what I’ve written.
Hopefully the afternoon would find me in better condition. And mood. It’s very me to be down both mentally and physically at the same time.
Ciao!
I have told myself to blog every workday. Weekend and holiday I cannot, because, dear friend, I blog from the office. The privilege of PC at my home with good connection is yet to be granted to me.
I blog for the sake of my mind coz I have lots of things going on in my mind, albeit small and trivial. Like this one. What the heck am I doing writing about blog in my blog?
Well, I am feeling rather not well. Seems like a cold has been at my heel since weekend. It hasn’t bitten me yet, but dizzy I am with sore throat today. And today, I got caught in this never ending meeting with confusing minutes to take and lots of topics that need sorted out. That, my friend, is my main job in a meeting, apart for actually doing what I’ve written.
Hopefully the afternoon would find me in better condition. And mood. It’s very me to be down both mentally and physically at the same time.
Ciao!
Monday, October 25
Condolence
My colleague lost her father in the weekend. Before that, just months ago, she lost her only brother.
May God bring her the strength to live on and be the happy person she always is. Amen.
From ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.
May God bring her the strength to live on and be the happy person she always is. Amen.
From ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.
Rules of the road
Rules are meant to be broken. So some people say. I won’t second that.
Rules are there for a reason, mainly: Order.
And so do sign lights in your vehicle. But here, those nasty little daredevils seem to think that sign lights are merely accessories. Instead of turning on their sign lights, which equip their motorcycle nicely, and which I believe are to be operated with minimum difficulty, they deliberate on making other road users as body-language readers.
Some of the language I manage to interpret: the hunching means he’s on to getting more speed, the leaning of body to the left (or right) means he would take the left (or right) lane – cutting you in front. Others are to random to generalized, and have to be taken on each particular occasion. But all in all, the message is clear: CAUTION! They may make sudden move without prior notice.
Sometimes, I just wanna whack them in the helmet and say: use your sign lights, for crying out loud! It’s for their own good: minimizing false interpretation and further accident.
Apart from the sign light episode, the one thing that makes me really want to murder them is the overtaking of the sidewalk. Sidewalks, just in case you don’t know, are for pedestrians. And just in case you don’t understand the meaning of the word “pedestrian”, well, to tell you shortly: it’s the people who walk. WALK.
In one moment, I remember vividly, I braved the mass of these rules-breaking machos, and walked head on into them. One of them shouted: “Are you going to commit suicide or something?” for which reply I gave him a menacing glare. If only look could kill.
Sometimes, they sound their honks on me. To that, I will look them through their glass-covered face and say: It’s MY way. You move over!
The roads in Jakarta follow the simple rule of ‘hukum rimba’. You win when you are the strongest (= the biggest). So the bus elbowing on the car, the car pushing the motorcycle over, and the motorcycle takes it out on the pedestrian. Poor us pedestrian who are at the bottom of the ring.
Perhaps, there will be time when pedestrians unite, creating a solid mass of walking human, and take over the road, armed with sheer determination not to be pushed over. Be sure, I'll be one speck of the mass.
Rules are there for a reason, mainly: Order.
And so do sign lights in your vehicle. But here, those nasty little daredevils seem to think that sign lights are merely accessories. Instead of turning on their sign lights, which equip their motorcycle nicely, and which I believe are to be operated with minimum difficulty, they deliberate on making other road users as body-language readers.
Some of the language I manage to interpret: the hunching means he’s on to getting more speed, the leaning of body to the left (or right) means he would take the left (or right) lane – cutting you in front. Others are to random to generalized, and have to be taken on each particular occasion. But all in all, the message is clear: CAUTION! They may make sudden move without prior notice.
Sometimes, I just wanna whack them in the helmet and say: use your sign lights, for crying out loud! It’s for their own good: minimizing false interpretation and further accident.
Apart from the sign light episode, the one thing that makes me really want to murder them is the overtaking of the sidewalk. Sidewalks, just in case you don’t know, are for pedestrians. And just in case you don’t understand the meaning of the word “pedestrian”, well, to tell you shortly: it’s the people who walk. WALK.
In one moment, I remember vividly, I braved the mass of these rules-breaking machos, and walked head on into them. One of them shouted: “Are you going to commit suicide or something?” for which reply I gave him a menacing glare. If only look could kill.
Sometimes, they sound their honks on me. To that, I will look them through their glass-covered face and say: It’s MY way. You move over!
The roads in Jakarta follow the simple rule of ‘hukum rimba’. You win when you are the strongest (= the biggest). So the bus elbowing on the car, the car pushing the motorcycle over, and the motorcycle takes it out on the pedestrian. Poor us pedestrian who are at the bottom of the ring.
Perhaps, there will be time when pedestrians unite, creating a solid mass of walking human, and take over the road, armed with sheer determination not to be pushed over. Be sure, I'll be one speck of the mass.
Thursday, October 21
mmpppphhh.....
This is definitely not the best day of my life. Don't take me wrong, I enjoy life today. But I can't escape from feeling that things could've been better.
To elevate my mood, why don't I think of something that is enjoyable? How about: body scrubbing? Yes yes yes.
One of the indulgences I allow myself is that: body scrubbing. Mmmppppphhhh.
Direction:
Take handful of scrub paste, spread it gently, rub the scrub in circular motion, make sure that all parts that are supposed to be covered are covered. All done in leisurely manner, take all the time, let the world outside go about their things. Empty your mind.... enjoy the moment.....enjoy the sensation of scrub rubbing against skin...Rinse off with lots and lots and lots of time under hot shower. Finish off with generous spray of oil mist. Pat yourself dry. If oil mist is not available, body butter would do just fine after dry yourself.
Believe me, that body would feel different. After that, do something that would make you feel more mmmmpppphhhh. Reading, perhaps. Or enjoying a long iced drink. Better yet, do nothing. Just close your eyes, body resting peacefully, and absorb the sensation. Breath in, breath out. Succumb to silence and stillness.
Live is indeed beautiful!
To elevate my mood, why don't I think of something that is enjoyable? How about: body scrubbing? Yes yes yes.
One of the indulgences I allow myself is that: body scrubbing. Mmmppppphhhh.
Direction:
Take handful of scrub paste, spread it gently, rub the scrub in circular motion, make sure that all parts that are supposed to be covered are covered. All done in leisurely manner, take all the time, let the world outside go about their things. Empty your mind.... enjoy the moment.....enjoy the sensation of scrub rubbing against skin...Rinse off with lots and lots and lots of time under hot shower. Finish off with generous spray of oil mist. Pat yourself dry. If oil mist is not available, body butter would do just fine after dry yourself.
Believe me, that body would feel different. After that, do something that would make you feel more mmmmpppphhhh. Reading, perhaps. Or enjoying a long iced drink. Better yet, do nothing. Just close your eyes, body resting peacefully, and absorb the sensation. Breath in, breath out. Succumb to silence and stillness.
Live is indeed beautiful!
Wednesday, October 20
Nulis
Temen gw ada yang ndorong gw buat nulis di majalah umum. Katanya gw pasti bisa lah... Entah kenapa, gw sampe saat ini gak punya keberanian buat nulis di tempat umum gitu. Ada juga yg bilang: kalo takut ya pake nama samaran ajah. Bisa juga dicoba kali tuh.
Loe bilang, kalo takut nulis di tempat umum kok nulis di blog? Blog mah.... yang baca juga paling temen2 deket gw doang. Kl yang laen2 kayaknya kagak deh, kecuali orang iseng2.
Menurut loe, yang suka baca blog gw, ada harapan gak sih: tulisan gw dimuat? Gak usah yang susah2, paling hal2 kecil ttg hidup ajah. Kayak pengalaman bis gw itu.... bisa banyak tuh kalo dikembangin.
Btw, bos gw nyuruh gw nulis buat profile yg mo dikirim ke kantor pusat di Amrik. Gileng. Ini mah tgjwb-nya mengerikan. Kl fiksi kan gak ada batasnya. Lah profile? Serem.
Dah itu aja dulu deh. Kalo nulis di blog tiap hari mah gw gak takut!
Loe bilang, kalo takut nulis di tempat umum kok nulis di blog? Blog mah.... yang baca juga paling temen2 deket gw doang. Kl yang laen2 kayaknya kagak deh, kecuali orang iseng2.
Menurut loe, yang suka baca blog gw, ada harapan gak sih: tulisan gw dimuat? Gak usah yang susah2, paling hal2 kecil ttg hidup ajah. Kayak pengalaman bis gw itu.... bisa banyak tuh kalo dikembangin.
Btw, bos gw nyuruh gw nulis buat profile yg mo dikirim ke kantor pusat di Amrik. Gileng. Ini mah tgjwb-nya mengerikan. Kl fiksi kan gak ada batasnya. Lah profile? Serem.
Dah itu aja dulu deh. Kalo nulis di blog tiap hari mah gw gak takut!
Puasa
It's the 6th day of Ramadhan, the fasting month. So far, so good, at least physically. Got lots of works to do, yet my brain seems to think that this is holiday. Rather slow to respond, and needs to be reminded to get the job done. Maybe the result of interrupted sleep.
This year is the first year my eldest join the puasa. She seems to have no problem fending off hunger. Well, she used to have trouble eating right in the first place. What amazes me is she can actually wake up at 3.30 AM, have her meal, sleep again to be waken up at 6.00 to get ready for school. She breaks the fast once she got home from school, at around 12.30 PM. All seems so easy for her.
My approach to puasa is very much depends on my 'mood'. Several times I had forsaken it all together because I didn't feel like to. To my logic, why doing something so sacred as this if my heart is not into it? Better as well not doing it at all.
In my highschool day, when everyone there taken me for a christian, I fasted. No one knew. I was just as active as usual, training for the 'paskibra', doing everything just as I ordinarily would. My friends told me: easy for you to maintain your activities. You are not fasting. If only they knew.
This year, I fast. For what particular reason I am not sure. I haven't committed myself to the religion yet. Maybe it's more about pushing myself to control myself. Not just physically, but also mentally. As long as there's good that can be expected, why not?
Peace be upon you.
This year is the first year my eldest join the puasa. She seems to have no problem fending off hunger. Well, she used to have trouble eating right in the first place. What amazes me is she can actually wake up at 3.30 AM, have her meal, sleep again to be waken up at 6.00 to get ready for school. She breaks the fast once she got home from school, at around 12.30 PM. All seems so easy for her.
My approach to puasa is very much depends on my 'mood'. Several times I had forsaken it all together because I didn't feel like to. To my logic, why doing something so sacred as this if my heart is not into it? Better as well not doing it at all.
In my highschool day, when everyone there taken me for a christian, I fasted. No one knew. I was just as active as usual, training for the 'paskibra', doing everything just as I ordinarily would. My friends told me: easy for you to maintain your activities. You are not fasting. If only they knew.
This year, I fast. For what particular reason I am not sure. I haven't committed myself to the religion yet. Maybe it's more about pushing myself to control myself. Not just physically, but also mentally. As long as there's good that can be expected, why not?
Peace be upon you.
Tuesday, October 19
Monday, October 18
The absence
Sometimes, the only time you were aware of something is thru its absence. The void it creates gives you a strange feeling that something is not quite right.
You go through life and take most of things in it for granted. Once they’re gone, there’s a pang in your heart. It’s the absence of those you never pay attention to.
An acute sense of loss would be felt if what’s gone is something that is dear to us. The absence of it would create a gaping hole. A hole so big and deep it may never be filled again. I am yet to feel that kind of loss.
So how must I take it? To take and savor every grain of life and make sure I am thankful for each of them before they become an absence?
You go through life and take most of things in it for granted. Once they’re gone, there’s a pang in your heart. It’s the absence of those you never pay attention to.
An acute sense of loss would be felt if what’s gone is something that is dear to us. The absence of it would create a gaping hole. A hole so big and deep it may never be filled again. I am yet to feel that kind of loss.
So how must I take it? To take and savor every grain of life and make sure I am thankful for each of them before they become an absence?
Of life and belief
What do you think of your life? Is it beautiful? Is it full of contentment? How do you rate it: satisfactory? Just so-so? How do you see where it’s heading: better tomorrow, just the same, or taking a dip?
I take life one day at a time. I don’t generally plan for the future. I take problem as it arises, and don’t think much about the long-term effect of it. Live for today!
I am no good at strategy, thinking of three steps to take in advance just muddle up my mind. That’s why I don’t play chess, and I don’t enjoy card games. My take on life is just like that. No strategy. Just bring it on.
Yet, I had trouble loosing the past. It bites me deep, leaves it mark, and I bear it until who knows when. To forget, to forgive. Forgive I think I can, but my random memory usually chose not to forget. Come to think of it, how come you forgive but not forget? Don’t they come as one package?
‘Tis the month of Ramadhan. Probably the holiest month in the Islam calendar. I ought to forget and forgive and clear my heart and purify my conscious. How do I acheive that, I suppose? My soul bearing the scrapes and wounds of previous times? My heart keeping dark secrets of my thoughts and feelings?
I should be thanking life for what it has given me. How do I do that? Is it by committing myself to religion? I believe in God, I believe in the mightiness.
A thought crossed my mind today: should I die, how would they burry me? How would they conduct the prayers? How would I want it to be done?
Maybe it’s time for me to choose a way. Maybe.
Let me leave it at that. Like many times before, I had thought, and then did nothing about it. It may end up just like those many times.
Peace be upon you.
I take life one day at a time. I don’t generally plan for the future. I take problem as it arises, and don’t think much about the long-term effect of it. Live for today!
I am no good at strategy, thinking of three steps to take in advance just muddle up my mind. That’s why I don’t play chess, and I don’t enjoy card games. My take on life is just like that. No strategy. Just bring it on.
Yet, I had trouble loosing the past. It bites me deep, leaves it mark, and I bear it until who knows when. To forget, to forgive. Forgive I think I can, but my random memory usually chose not to forget. Come to think of it, how come you forgive but not forget? Don’t they come as one package?
‘Tis the month of Ramadhan. Probably the holiest month in the Islam calendar. I ought to forget and forgive and clear my heart and purify my conscious. How do I acheive that, I suppose? My soul bearing the scrapes and wounds of previous times? My heart keeping dark secrets of my thoughts and feelings?
I should be thanking life for what it has given me. How do I do that? Is it by committing myself to religion? I believe in God, I believe in the mightiness.
A thought crossed my mind today: should I die, how would they burry me? How would they conduct the prayers? How would I want it to be done?
Maybe it’s time for me to choose a way. Maybe.
Let me leave it at that. Like many times before, I had thought, and then did nothing about it. It may end up just like those many times.
Peace be upon you.
Friday, October 15
In the Bus
No, this will not be about me being the last person people want to sit with. It’s about other bus experiences.
You know, there are a lot of live entertainments you can have in the bus. Fist, there’s the all classic singer with his guitar. In this type of entertainment, you may find yourself sometimes lucky enough to have a real singer with nice voice. But that chance would be about 1 in 25. The 24 are rather a nuisance: singing off-key, singing too loud, singing not loud enough he looks like someone who is saying his prayer under his breath, or singing religious song. Personally I prefer them not to sing religious songs, it’s rather “provocative” to hear them in such a place as bus. Save those for a more appropriate time and surrounding.
Next, singer with percussions. This could be interesting. Some were armed with used Yakult bottles filled halfway with rice. That would serve as ‘maracas’, I guess. Others resort to Aqua bottle used in a similar fashion. The classic piece of board with flattened-out bottle caps nailed loosely is hard to find nowadays. Some would have rebana or tambourine. In several occasions, I met a whole 4-person band. Yup. One handling the makeshift drum (usually made of stretched plastic or other sheet over round metal frame, sometimes crossed over with chain for more sound effect), one minding the guitar, one would be the leading focal, and the other may be blowing into his harmonica, or simply being backing vocal. Imagine the mightiness of their instruments reverberate in the bus. Rather deafening indeed. Entertaining, nevertheless.
Once, I was ‘honored’ enough to have live violin. What the heck a person with violin-playing ability husking in the bus remains a mystery to me. Here in Jakarta, violin is surely not a common item. And the chance of learning it usually afforded to the haves only. And yet, this young man is playing it in the bus for meager changes.
(to be continued)
You know, there are a lot of live entertainments you can have in the bus. Fist, there’s the all classic singer with his guitar. In this type of entertainment, you may find yourself sometimes lucky enough to have a real singer with nice voice. But that chance would be about 1 in 25. The 24 are rather a nuisance: singing off-key, singing too loud, singing not loud enough he looks like someone who is saying his prayer under his breath, or singing religious song. Personally I prefer them not to sing religious songs, it’s rather “provocative” to hear them in such a place as bus. Save those for a more appropriate time and surrounding.
Next, singer with percussions. This could be interesting. Some were armed with used Yakult bottles filled halfway with rice. That would serve as ‘maracas’, I guess. Others resort to Aqua bottle used in a similar fashion. The classic piece of board with flattened-out bottle caps nailed loosely is hard to find nowadays. Some would have rebana or tambourine. In several occasions, I met a whole 4-person band. Yup. One handling the makeshift drum (usually made of stretched plastic or other sheet over round metal frame, sometimes crossed over with chain for more sound effect), one minding the guitar, one would be the leading focal, and the other may be blowing into his harmonica, or simply being backing vocal. Imagine the mightiness of their instruments reverberate in the bus. Rather deafening indeed. Entertaining, nevertheless.
Once, I was ‘honored’ enough to have live violin. What the heck a person with violin-playing ability husking in the bus remains a mystery to me. Here in Jakarta, violin is surely not a common item. And the chance of learning it usually afforded to the haves only. And yet, this young man is playing it in the bus for meager changes.
(to be continued)
Maaf (Jikustik)
Kau, menyisakan tangis pertengkaran semalam di antara kita
Kini, ku harus berdiri di tepian hati
Bimbang tuk memilih
Kau harus tahu, dalam hatiku bergetar
Waktu kutahu, kau terluka saat aku
Buatmu menangis, buatmu bersedih
Inginku memelukmu dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku…
Aku , akupun mencoba, tuk beri yang terbaik untuk kau miliki
Kini, ku harus berdiri di tepian hati
Bimbang tuk memilih
Kau harus tahu, dalam hatiku bergetar
Waktu kutahu, kau terluka saat aku
Buatmu menangis, buatmu bersedih
Inginku memelukmu dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku…
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku….
Buat kau menangis, buatmu bersedih
Ingin ku memelukmu, dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku….
Maafkan aku…
(buatmu menangis buatmu bersedih)…
Maafkan aku…
Kini, ku harus berdiri di tepian hati
Bimbang tuk memilih
Kau harus tahu, dalam hatiku bergetar
Waktu kutahu, kau terluka saat aku
Buatmu menangis, buatmu bersedih
Inginku memelukmu dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku…
Aku , akupun mencoba, tuk beri yang terbaik untuk kau miliki
Kini, ku harus berdiri di tepian hati
Bimbang tuk memilih
Kau harus tahu, dalam hatiku bergetar
Waktu kutahu, kau terluka saat aku
Buatmu menangis, buatmu bersedih
Inginku memelukmu dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku…
Maafkan aku, maafkan aku, maafkan aku….
Buat kau menangis, buatmu bersedih
Ingin ku memelukmu, dan ucapkan maaf
Maafkan aku….
Maafkan aku…
(buatmu menangis buatmu bersedih)…
Maafkan aku…
Wednesday, October 13
tired
am tired, too tired to think
want to forget about lots of things
that my heart would not let go
enough of these feelings
enough!
want to forget about lots of things
that my heart would not let go
enough of these feelings
enough!
Sendiri
Kamu tidak akan pernah bisa meraih ke dalam hati dan benak seseorang. Bahkan jika ia telah membuka pintu hati dan benaknya selebar-lebar yang ia bisa.
Kamu tak akan pernah mengalami apa yang ia alami, bahkan ketika kamu berada di tempat dan waktu yang sama saat pengalaman itu terjadi.
Kamu tak akan pernah memahami hal-hal yang bisa membuatnya tersenyum ketika menatap bulan dan matanya yang menerawang.
Kamu tak akan pernah mencapai kedalaman jiwanya, pada inti dirinya, betapa pun kamu hidup bersamanya siang dan malam.
Jiwa, benak dan hatinya adalah miliknya sendiri.
Kamu tak akan pernah mengalami apa yang ia alami, bahkan ketika kamu berada di tempat dan waktu yang sama saat pengalaman itu terjadi.
Kamu tak akan pernah memahami hal-hal yang bisa membuatnya tersenyum ketika menatap bulan dan matanya yang menerawang.
Kamu tak akan pernah mencapai kedalaman jiwanya, pada inti dirinya, betapa pun kamu hidup bersamanya siang dan malam.
Jiwa, benak dan hatinya adalah miliknya sendiri.
Tuesday, October 12
Masalah Kebiasaan
Kebiasaan emang susah diubah. Tapi susah bukan berarti gak bisa, ternyata. Dan setelah punya kebiasaan baru, ternyata kebiasaan lama yang keliatannya udah nyaman dan nempel banget bisa juga jadi gak nyaman dan gak begitu nempel lagi.
Contoh kasus:
Saya terbiasa pake celana panjang, setiap hari, untuk ke kantor, dilengkapi dengan sepatu boots. Boro-boro pake rok dan selop cantik. Jauuuuhhhh…… Tapi karena suatu hal, akan lebih baik buat saya kalo gak tiap hari pake celana panjang. Dan juga karena ada hal lain, saya jadi coba2 pake rok. Dan selop cantik. Setelah sekian bulan pake kostum begitu, sekarang saya jadi jarang pake celana panjang dan boots lagi. Gerah.
Dulu, amit2 disuruh pake rok. Dibayar juga belom tentu mau. Sekarang? Koleksi rok kantor emang baru sekitar 5 biji lah. Ada juga rok yang rada2 manis sekitar 2 – 3 biji. Dan terasa nikmatnya…..Udah tampil lebih manis (konon…), jari2 kakiku yang agak pink juga jadi terpamerkan berkat selop bertali (hehehe). Dan ternyata, masih tetap bisa ngebut juga, bahkan lari, dengan kostum begini.
Ada satu problem: kakiku yang selalu keringetan ternyata bisa jadi hazard juga. Terbukti suatu siang aku makan keluar kantor, yang musti naik busnya busway dulu, nanjak dan turun pake jembatan busway yang nan panjang itu. Kakiku gak mau kompromi, keringetan gak keruan. Terpaksalah aku jalan dengan amat sangat hati2 dan pelan2: aku kepeleset di dalam selopku sendiri. Konyol banget rasanya, dan udah pengen nyeker aja. Demi khalayak, aku bertahan.
Emang, berubah itu harus datang dari diri sendiri (pake dorongan dari luar lebih oke sih). Tapi yang paling penting: ENJOY! Apapun keputusan kamu.
Live, Love, Laugh!
Contoh kasus:
Saya terbiasa pake celana panjang, setiap hari, untuk ke kantor, dilengkapi dengan sepatu boots. Boro-boro pake rok dan selop cantik. Jauuuuhhhh…… Tapi karena suatu hal, akan lebih baik buat saya kalo gak tiap hari pake celana panjang. Dan juga karena ada hal lain, saya jadi coba2 pake rok. Dan selop cantik. Setelah sekian bulan pake kostum begitu, sekarang saya jadi jarang pake celana panjang dan boots lagi. Gerah.
Dulu, amit2 disuruh pake rok. Dibayar juga belom tentu mau. Sekarang? Koleksi rok kantor emang baru sekitar 5 biji lah. Ada juga rok yang rada2 manis sekitar 2 – 3 biji. Dan terasa nikmatnya…..Udah tampil lebih manis (konon…), jari2 kakiku yang agak pink juga jadi terpamerkan berkat selop bertali (hehehe). Dan ternyata, masih tetap bisa ngebut juga, bahkan lari, dengan kostum begini.
Ada satu problem: kakiku yang selalu keringetan ternyata bisa jadi hazard juga. Terbukti suatu siang aku makan keluar kantor, yang musti naik busnya busway dulu, nanjak dan turun pake jembatan busway yang nan panjang itu. Kakiku gak mau kompromi, keringetan gak keruan. Terpaksalah aku jalan dengan amat sangat hati2 dan pelan2: aku kepeleset di dalam selopku sendiri. Konyol banget rasanya, dan udah pengen nyeker aja. Demi khalayak, aku bertahan.
Emang, berubah itu harus datang dari diri sendiri (pake dorongan dari luar lebih oke sih). Tapi yang paling penting: ENJOY! Apapun keputusan kamu.
Live, Love, Laugh!
Monday, October 11
Berlin, May 2003
Berlin was one of my happiest moments in life.
I haven’t seen my hubby for almost 5 months straight, communicating by e-mails, YM, and phone only. I went to see him in May 2003. After landing in Kastrup, Copenhagen, he brought me to Malmoe. Malmoe is only about half-an-hour train trip from the airport while it’s already a different country. Malmoe is in Sweden, while Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark.
I spent my arriving day walking around Malmoe, fighting not to sleep so that I would not be overcome by jetlag. The next day, I was bound to Berlin.
We started very early in the morning as our appointment was 6 am in Copenhagen central station, a little farther than Kastrup. In that country, you can’t miss even by one minute. Then the journey began: by couch, by ferry, by couch again. I’ll tell you something funny about ferry ride and the laws of water – in separate entry that would be.
After seven hours of travel, there we were: Berlin.
Rather disappointing, at first. Coming from the all clean Sweden, a not-so-clean Copenhagen, Berlin definitely looked trodden. We came by the East side, perhaps the feeling was rather gloomy there. The walls were barren in our hotel room, down in Alexander Platz – once the hip center of East Berlin.
We then started to walk. Among the museums (Berlin are swarmed in museums), abandoned Soviet-era buildings (you can’t help but saw the ugliness), the mighty block of the former USSR Embassy (so big and grand) near the Brandenburg Torg.
The mighty Brandenburg. Behind it the wall used to stand. There, just a few steps from where the wall was used to be, were erected some memorials of people who died trying to escape. The last one was just few days before the wall were torn down. Tragic.
Berlin was one of the happiest moments I had in my life, didn’t I say so? There we were, me and my hubby, so very far apart from the usual life we had. No kids, no parents. The two of us, just the two of us, among all these strangers.
We walked and walked and walked in Berlin. We hugged, we kissed, we held on to each other. I was so free there. I grinned and smiled a lot there. It was cold for me, and once we walked the whole day and evening without resolving to use any other mean of transportation. But I enjoyed every minute of it.
Enclosed in those barren walls, tucked under the white sheet, the rain outside with cold wind that bit into my cheeks, I felt so free and save. Nothing could happen to us, nothing could come between me and my hubby.
(Alas, life is not that simple. After Berlin, my story would turn out different. Berlin was, at that time, the moment of my most and utter happiness.)
I haven’t seen my hubby for almost 5 months straight, communicating by e-mails, YM, and phone only. I went to see him in May 2003. After landing in Kastrup, Copenhagen, he brought me to Malmoe. Malmoe is only about half-an-hour train trip from the airport while it’s already a different country. Malmoe is in Sweden, while Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark.
I spent my arriving day walking around Malmoe, fighting not to sleep so that I would not be overcome by jetlag. The next day, I was bound to Berlin.
We started very early in the morning as our appointment was 6 am in Copenhagen central station, a little farther than Kastrup. In that country, you can’t miss even by one minute. Then the journey began: by couch, by ferry, by couch again. I’ll tell you something funny about ferry ride and the laws of water – in separate entry that would be.
After seven hours of travel, there we were: Berlin.
Rather disappointing, at first. Coming from the all clean Sweden, a not-so-clean Copenhagen, Berlin definitely looked trodden. We came by the East side, perhaps the feeling was rather gloomy there. The walls were barren in our hotel room, down in Alexander Platz – once the hip center of East Berlin.
We then started to walk. Among the museums (Berlin are swarmed in museums), abandoned Soviet-era buildings (you can’t help but saw the ugliness), the mighty block of the former USSR Embassy (so big and grand) near the Brandenburg Torg.
The mighty Brandenburg. Behind it the wall used to stand. There, just a few steps from where the wall was used to be, were erected some memorials of people who died trying to escape. The last one was just few days before the wall were torn down. Tragic.
Berlin was one of the happiest moments I had in my life, didn’t I say so? There we were, me and my hubby, so very far apart from the usual life we had. No kids, no parents. The two of us, just the two of us, among all these strangers.
We walked and walked and walked in Berlin. We hugged, we kissed, we held on to each other. I was so free there. I grinned and smiled a lot there. It was cold for me, and once we walked the whole day and evening without resolving to use any other mean of transportation. But I enjoyed every minute of it.
Enclosed in those barren walls, tucked under the white sheet, the rain outside with cold wind that bit into my cheeks, I felt so free and save. Nothing could happen to us, nothing could come between me and my hubby.
(Alas, life is not that simple. After Berlin, my story would turn out different. Berlin was, at that time, the moment of my most and utter happiness.)
Horizontal
It was my target on Sunday to be as horizontal as possible. No going out to the shops, no cleaning or tidying up my disastrous room. Just lay back, lay on my stomach, lay on my side, minimum standing or walking around. Great plan.
It so happened that my Rania was not feeling well, so I cuddled up with her in the morning. Cuddling up done, I went to my book and started reading – on my stomach. Some exercise occurred when I had to supervise my girls having a bath, putting on their clothes, and eating their breakfast. Once they were peacefully watching teve and played among themselves, I read again. But not for long. You know how kids are, they have short attention span. Peaceful minutes were soon gone, and I told them: okay, you can play with Mommy, you can ride on my back, but just don’t ask me to shut my book.
Quite working, the plan. I didn’t go anywhere save the trip to my Mother-in-law’s home to pick up my eldest and to Gramedia to get those glitter glues. After that, another horizontal pose with Rania (tucking her to bed). Dinner, another reading session, and off I went to Slumberland.
That’s when things went ‘great’. My dear Rania, having too much sleep during the day, woke up in the middle of the night and started her battery of demands in interval of about every hour. First, a glass of water, which she demanded on top of her lung and right into my ear canal. Next, her big pillow. After that, a tap on her butt and back rub. That, followed by another glass of water, and those little itchy bumps I have to attend to.
Today, I must try to be as vertical as I can be. But gravity (and that barrage of my client’s needs) does have it toll. How I long to be horizontal again, with soft pillow under my head, closed curtain and soft light, and utter silence. No work, no kids, no one, but me and my sleepy head. Unconscious.
Keep on dreaming, baby.
It so happened that my Rania was not feeling well, so I cuddled up with her in the morning. Cuddling up done, I went to my book and started reading – on my stomach. Some exercise occurred when I had to supervise my girls having a bath, putting on their clothes, and eating their breakfast. Once they were peacefully watching teve and played among themselves, I read again. But not for long. You know how kids are, they have short attention span. Peaceful minutes were soon gone, and I told them: okay, you can play with Mommy, you can ride on my back, but just don’t ask me to shut my book.
Quite working, the plan. I didn’t go anywhere save the trip to my Mother-in-law’s home to pick up my eldest and to Gramedia to get those glitter glues. After that, another horizontal pose with Rania (tucking her to bed). Dinner, another reading session, and off I went to Slumberland.
That’s when things went ‘great’. My dear Rania, having too much sleep during the day, woke up in the middle of the night and started her battery of demands in interval of about every hour. First, a glass of water, which she demanded on top of her lung and right into my ear canal. Next, her big pillow. After that, a tap on her butt and back rub. That, followed by another glass of water, and those little itchy bumps I have to attend to.
Today, I must try to be as vertical as I can be. But gravity (and that barrage of my client’s needs) does have it toll. How I long to be horizontal again, with soft pillow under my head, closed curtain and soft light, and utter silence. No work, no kids, no one, but me and my sleepy head. Unconscious.
Keep on dreaming, baby.
Friday, October 8
back to life
am back to life today, oh yeah! full of energy.... full of hopes..... full of dreams....hungry as ever.
just got back from my daughter's school, they were having this exhibition of the students' works. not bad. it's the good way of learning, i think, to create something in the process and not just reading the books.
btw, who am i to say? me, who spent the majority of my waking days reading (that - before marriage and kids). i am, well, at least i used to be someone who let life passed by. my window thru life is my books, my magazine, things i read, things i watched. that made me know that orca is the highest predator in the sea, and the most advanced, too. so what?
you know what? i am afraid of people (at least i used to). they have too many elements i have to deal with. too many elements mean too many things to think of, and too many things to think of means too much stress for me. so i forsake them and lived in a world of my own. where my rules and my values reign. no one to contest me.
am not that extreme anymore. people are nice, they too open windows to the world. am still lost sometimes at what the right thing to do or say. when in such situation, my rule of thumb is: just be myself. a bit nicer version of me, of course, for socialization's sake.
this is sapobi starting her morning at work with a smile, and hope to end it with even bigger smile.
just got back from my daughter's school, they were having this exhibition of the students' works. not bad. it's the good way of learning, i think, to create something in the process and not just reading the books.
btw, who am i to say? me, who spent the majority of my waking days reading (that - before marriage and kids). i am, well, at least i used to be someone who let life passed by. my window thru life is my books, my magazine, things i read, things i watched. that made me know that orca is the highest predator in the sea, and the most advanced, too. so what?
you know what? i am afraid of people (at least i used to). they have too many elements i have to deal with. too many elements mean too many things to think of, and too many things to think of means too much stress for me. so i forsake them and lived in a world of my own. where my rules and my values reign. no one to contest me.
am not that extreme anymore. people are nice, they too open windows to the world. am still lost sometimes at what the right thing to do or say. when in such situation, my rule of thumb is: just be myself. a bit nicer version of me, of course, for socialization's sake.
this is sapobi starting her morning at work with a smile, and hope to end it with even bigger smile.
Thursday, October 7
end of transmission
errhghhhgggghhhh......kkrzzzzzkkk..
Sapobi.....
finally reaching gateway.......
end of transmission
(message intercepted at 0554zulu)
Sapobi.....
finally reaching gateway.......
end of transmission
(message intercepted at 0554zulu)
mayday... mayday...not enough power
(this transmission was intercepted by USS Galactica, in Q2375-65", 0857zulu)
mayday...mayday.... Sapobi has lost her engine
now using standby power
would not be able to reach gateway
mayday...mayday..mayday
need to recharge
mayday....may.....gghhhrkkkk..sshhhhrrrgggg....
(transmission of message ended)
mayday...mayday.... Sapobi has lost her engine
now using standby power
would not be able to reach gateway
mayday...mayday..mayday
need to recharge
mayday....may.....gghhhrkkkk..sshhhhrrrgggg....
(transmission of message ended)
..errrr...how about food?
Wanna write but don't know what to write.
Hmm... okay, any topic, anyone? Any... topic?
Well, I am having nasi uduk with telor and tahu and kerupuk. My breakfast. Let's talk about food, then. And cooking.
I don't like cooking. I almost despise cooking. Cannot stand the feeling of all those raw materials in my hands. Eugh. My hubby likes cooking. He cooked for himself while he was in Malmoe, and enjoyed it. He cooked when he felt stress out. I would be stressed out to cook.
I do appreciate food, though, a lot. It is a work of art. Even simple dishes - cause for me to be able to create edible food is just beyond me (at least at this time). I like trying new food, as long as I know what's inside them. I am yet to go venture out to the 'exotic' and 'the gross', though. Like those fried bugs in Thailand, bats in Manado, snakes, and the likes. Normal ingredients like chicken, lamb, seafood, beef would do just fine. A bit picky about fish, and don't give me things that are not well done. Oh, sushi and sashimi would be exception. When the mood was right, I do enjoy them.
Ever tried tempura udon? Nice. They come in this enourmous bowl that looks more like a baskom than a bowl, the big and slippery noodle submerged in generous amount of sweetish broth. Accompanied by tempura (those two big deep-fried shrimps covered in flour) and also deep-fried veggies (usualy onion, ubi, buncis and sometimes carrot), tempura udon would definitely make my stomach full. No need to order drink, just finish up the broth. With a straw, if needed (no, this one is a joke). Oh, add a sprinkle of powdered chilly, and the dish hits perfect note.
Food, the necessity that has gone into an art of living.
Hail to you oh the world's cooks!
This is Sapobi starting her day of work.
Hmm... okay, any topic, anyone? Any... topic?
Well, I am having nasi uduk with telor and tahu and kerupuk. My breakfast. Let's talk about food, then. And cooking.
I don't like cooking. I almost despise cooking. Cannot stand the feeling of all those raw materials in my hands. Eugh. My hubby likes cooking. He cooked for himself while he was in Malmoe, and enjoyed it. He cooked when he felt stress out. I would be stressed out to cook.
I do appreciate food, though, a lot. It is a work of art. Even simple dishes - cause for me to be able to create edible food is just beyond me (at least at this time). I like trying new food, as long as I know what's inside them. I am yet to go venture out to the 'exotic' and 'the gross', though. Like those fried bugs in Thailand, bats in Manado, snakes, and the likes. Normal ingredients like chicken, lamb, seafood, beef would do just fine. A bit picky about fish, and don't give me things that are not well done. Oh, sushi and sashimi would be exception. When the mood was right, I do enjoy them.
Ever tried tempura udon? Nice. They come in this enourmous bowl that looks more like a baskom than a bowl, the big and slippery noodle submerged in generous amount of sweetish broth. Accompanied by tempura (those two big deep-fried shrimps covered in flour) and also deep-fried veggies (usualy onion, ubi, buncis and sometimes carrot), tempura udon would definitely make my stomach full. No need to order drink, just finish up the broth. With a straw, if needed (no, this one is a joke). Oh, add a sprinkle of powdered chilly, and the dish hits perfect note.
Food, the necessity that has gone into an art of living.
Hail to you oh the world's cooks!
This is Sapobi starting her day of work.
Wednesday, October 6
Pink soaps
I am always suspicious of pink soap. They tend to pack too much feminity in them: the overflowing soft floral fragrance, and the color itself. I would not buy pink soaps. Perhaps only when there are no other choices available.
Monday, October 4
LAKI-LAKI
(topik ini sumbangan dari teman perjalananku ke Pekanbaru, 1 Oktober 2004, dalam pesawat Lion JT 362, seat number 3)
Apa yang membuat seorang pria bisa disebut sebagai LAKI-LAKI?
Tanggung jawab, katanya. Ia kebetulan pria, jadi mari kita tanya lebih lanjut: tanggung jawab seperti apa yang membuat orang bisa disebut sebagai laki-laki?
Atas pertanyaan ini, dia ngelantur.
Jadi, aku saja yang beri sumbangan ide: menurut aku laki-laki itu baru sejati kalau ia ‘true to his words’. Singkatnya: dia gak bo’ong, gak tepu, gak ngeles, dan kalo janji gak maen2. Esensinya itulah.
Kalo dia kebetulan romantis, baek, penuh perhatian, macho, fit, dan ‘bertenaga’, ya itu semua bonuslah. Tetep aja yang paling penting adalah: man of his words.
Oh, satu lagi: jadi laki2 sejati berarti yakin pada dirinya sendiri bahwa dia cukup LAKI-LAKI dan gak perlu merasa terancam oleh kehadiran wanita yang beda (wanita2 yang berlaku di luar konvensi umum ttg wanita).
Sudah, dua itu saja. Rasanya…
Apa yang membuat seorang pria bisa disebut sebagai LAKI-LAKI?
Tanggung jawab, katanya. Ia kebetulan pria, jadi mari kita tanya lebih lanjut: tanggung jawab seperti apa yang membuat orang bisa disebut sebagai laki-laki?
Atas pertanyaan ini, dia ngelantur.
Jadi, aku saja yang beri sumbangan ide: menurut aku laki-laki itu baru sejati kalau ia ‘true to his words’. Singkatnya: dia gak bo’ong, gak tepu, gak ngeles, dan kalo janji gak maen2. Esensinya itulah.
Kalo dia kebetulan romantis, baek, penuh perhatian, macho, fit, dan ‘bertenaga’, ya itu semua bonuslah. Tetep aja yang paling penting adalah: man of his words.
Oh, satu lagi: jadi laki2 sejati berarti yakin pada dirinya sendiri bahwa dia cukup LAKI-LAKI dan gak perlu merasa terancam oleh kehadiran wanita yang beda (wanita2 yang berlaku di luar konvensi umum ttg wanita).
Sudah, dua itu saja. Rasanya…
The General
Battle preparation had already begun
When a general came
And saw that things were not
What they supposed to be
Immediately taking command
He righted what were wrong
And soon went on into briefing
For the morrow’s battle
The general watched
The general led
The general left
Another duty awaited him, perhaps
And it were left to us
To finish up
And clean the aftermath
When a general came
And saw that things were not
What they supposed to be
Immediately taking command
He righted what were wrong
And soon went on into briefing
For the morrow’s battle
The general watched
The general led
The general left
Another duty awaited him, perhaps
And it were left to us
To finish up
And clean the aftermath
Saturday, October 2
swimming
It’s finally done, the event that kept me in this room until I wrote the 9.10 entry. Some chattering can still be heard, but the main feeling I have is that of drowsiness.
I swam this morning, for about 25 minutes straight. Alone. Totally alone. Nice.
Swimming gives me sensations beyond words. The feeling I have from submerging myself in the blue water, the coolness, the freedom I feel seeing the open sky: Slivers of sun rays through the leaves, blue sky without boundaries, pieces of clouds floating gently.
I wonder if our souls are just like the floating clouds:
We are here on our journeys
To gather someday, somewhere
To go back as rain
Fall to the ground
Back to the river
And be floating clouds again
Maybe that’s why I like swimming: I see my soul in its journey.
I swam this morning, for about 25 minutes straight. Alone. Totally alone. Nice.
Swimming gives me sensations beyond words. The feeling I have from submerging myself in the blue water, the coolness, the freedom I feel seeing the open sky: Slivers of sun rays through the leaves, blue sky without boundaries, pieces of clouds floating gently.
I wonder if our souls are just like the floating clouds:
We are here on our journeys
To gather someday, somewhere
To go back as rain
Fall to the ground
Back to the river
And be floating clouds again
Maybe that’s why I like swimming: I see my soul in its journey.
Friday, October 1
9.10pm
It’s already ten past nine pm today, and I am still here. Not with my daughters, having the nightly battle as usual (re: The Clients). I miss them. So, what the heck am I doing now?
Tomorrow, the company where I work for would have a web launch in this city. We are still setting things up. Yeah. I am hungry, though. Haven’t got my dinner yet (well, the three of us haven’t).
Don’t know what to write anymore. Just want to do something else than keeping on the setting up going. A nice warm soak would be nice. Later on. Just hang in there.
Oh, just got calls from my daughters. Those Silly Melon Heads. Miss them pretty bad tonight. Maybe first time in my life I feel that I really miss them. I didn’t miss them much even when I went to see my hubby in Malmoe. Or maybe I shut down the feeling on purpose, so that I could concentrate on my time with him.
Malmoe. That’s worthy of separate entries.
It’s a town on the southern part of Sweden, much more closer to Copenhagen (which is in Danmark), rather than to Stockholm – its capital.
Malmoe.
Millions of miles away from my home, the distance that separated me and my hubby (and him and his family) for five hundred days.
Malmoe. It evokes in me numerous emotions, memories.
This is Sapobi signing off.
Tomorrow, the company where I work for would have a web launch in this city. We are still setting things up. Yeah. I am hungry, though. Haven’t got my dinner yet (well, the three of us haven’t).
Don’t know what to write anymore. Just want to do something else than keeping on the setting up going. A nice warm soak would be nice. Later on. Just hang in there.
Oh, just got calls from my daughters. Those Silly Melon Heads. Miss them pretty bad tonight. Maybe first time in my life I feel that I really miss them. I didn’t miss them much even when I went to see my hubby in Malmoe. Or maybe I shut down the feeling on purpose, so that I could concentrate on my time with him.
Malmoe. That’s worthy of separate entries.
It’s a town on the southern part of Sweden, much more closer to Copenhagen (which is in Danmark), rather than to Stockholm – its capital.
Malmoe.
Millions of miles away from my home, the distance that separated me and my hubby (and him and his family) for five hundred days.
Malmoe. It evokes in me numerous emotions, memories.
This is Sapobi signing off.
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